Stalking the Wild Kiwi |
Early in our trip, we had visited Auckland's War Memorial Museum, a old-fashioned building of mammoth proportions, suitably dominated by Roman columns and marbled halls. In these more pacifist times, people refer to it simply as the Auckland Museum, but even so the halls quiet loud voices and chill visitors into awe. Stuffed birds and Maori adzes are pinned behind glass cases; in the grand hall, a Maori war canoe yawns eighty feet across the room.
Alongside the canoe, which itself hushed us into silence, we watched a man dramatize for a group of tourists a Maori challenge--the traditional reception performed for visiting strangers. He wore a warrior's minimal apparel, composed solely of a braided flax skirt and a contorted expression. His muscles maintained a ready tension, his steps an economical precision. Neither his eyes nor the spear he held alongside them twitched from their target--the ringleader of our group, a teenage girl assigned the role by the museum guide.
Then the warrior waggled his tongue at us. We had already seen this gesture on postcards and picture books, where the outthrust tongue, grimacing face, and bulging eyes, removed from context, came off as a silly native trick. But this man, bearing the full weight of Maori custom instead of a smirk, waggled his tongue with such fierce honesty that he reclaimed the ritual and restored its potency.
Ten feet in front of the teenager he stopped his advance. He glared at her and threw down a green fern leaf.
This was the challenge itself. To declare peaceful intentions, she was to pick up the leaf. To begin the battle, let it lie. Our guide had explained this to the group earlier, but now, at the moment of decision, the teenager stood transfixed, intimidated, utterly still. The demonstration had assumed a gravity beyond mere education. The guide nudged her as if to say, "Now would be a good time to pick up the leaf." At last the teenager bent over to retrieve it, and the warrior relaxed.
That display stayed vivid in my memory in the month since I saw it. A few weeks later Susan and I arrived in Rotorua, a geological hot spot which has also long been a center for Maori culture, and decided to go to a hangi--a traditional Maori banquet--and cultural program. Historically such a feast was served only to honored guests, but Rotorua's hotels have opened the feast to anyone who can pay. The hotels have loosened the culinary restrictions as well, slipping European dishes like pork and lamb into the smorgasbord of traditional Maori cuisine. Along with two hundred other tourists, we ladled samples of each item on our plates and hurried back to our table to examine them.
We had tasted things like kumara before and found most of the other Maori dishes--fruit and vegetable salads--just as pleasant. It was the unusual meats that we saved for last--raw fish, smoked eel, and a species of bird known as sooty shearwater in ornithology, titi in Maori and muttonbird in colloquial Kiwi, which we had been hoping to see in the wild, not on the dinner plate.
Curiosity drove Susan to try a piece of the bird. She chewed slowly and a thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Go ahead," she told me with a straight face. "It's not bad." It sounded like a setup, but I took a bite anyway. The flesh was dark and flaky like a chicken thigh, though it tasted more like fish, flavored perhaps by the bird's own diet. More accurately, it tasted like fish soaked in grease, as if the bird had found a week of easy meals in an oil slick. Susan watched me finish my portion, then we both sat back in our seats, ready for the cultural concert.
As waitresses cleared our plates after the feast, a Maori man entered the dining hall wearing a flax skirt, much like the one worn by the warrior in Auckland. His partner, a more modestly dressed Pakeha, joined him. Systematically they made the rounds together. At each table the warrior crouched behind a tourist and waggled his tongue, shook his fist and roared. His partner photographed him and the embarrassed tourist. Then the warrior stepped back and laughed. The photographs turned up after the concert in cardboard frames, available for $10.
The family across the table from Susan and I included a little boy about three years old. The first attempt to photograph him with the warrior was frustrated by a camera malfunction, so the warrior and photographer came round again. Watching them return, the boy burst into tears. The experience had frightened him so badly the first time (hardly an irrational response, I thought) that the threat of another encounter was too much to bear. His parents consoled him but insisted on a retake.
"Look, son, he won't growl at all," the boy's father said.
"I won't make a sound," the warrior assured him. "I'll just do this." He waggled his tongue silently.
"See? It's not scary at all," the father concluded.
They convinced the boy to go through with it. His chin wrinkled, his lips trembled. His eyes filled with dollops of fear. The flashgun dazzled the scene, inscribing a stirring moment of childhood terror. I watched the proceedings with growing dismay--not so much because the boy was forced to repeat a petrifying ordeal simply to get a good picture of it (though I had no trouble condemning such a parental decision), but because this formidable ritual had been blithely transformed into an amusing souvenir.
The warrior disappeared when the hostess, a middle-aged Maori woman whose shoulders were draped with a woolly black cloak, stepped in front of the stage. Before dinner she had described each dish for us; now she returned to introduce the concert troupe and their haka, or dances.
A dozen women wearing braided flax skirts and crocheted bodices paraded onto the stage, followed by eight men wearing only skirts. They found their marks and began to sing. I listened with my mouth falling farther and farther open. The music confounded me. It was "Sing-A-Long with Mitch" music--lullabies, serenades, and waltzes sung in blazing unison. The songs were ingratiating, toe-tapping melodies, of a genre far more familiar than I ever expected to hear from a geographically-isolated polynesian people, and they evoked nothing so much as Don Ho's pop songs from the Hawaiian craze of the 1950's.
The music puzzled me. Having at various times heard ethnic music from all over the world, from the minimalist chanting of Native American music, to the atonal wailing of Islamic muezzin, to the syncopation of African rhythms, to the tala and raga of India, I had trouble believing this to be authentic Maori music. I felt the way I had in Waipoua forest when surrounded by American pine trees: this is not what I came 8,000 miles to see. Expecting culture, I got only a show, and I wanted to know why.
But, except for Susan, I appeared to be the only pedant in the audience--no one else acted as though it was a bizarre performance. Surrounded by delighted smiles and generous applause, we earnestly waited for the hostess to explain where these tunes came from, but she never did.
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